Saturday, April 18, 2009

A Few Things I Learned About Men....

On Thursday morning as I was riding back from Food Lion I tuned into 106.9 The Light (one of our local Christian radio stations) and Dr. Dobson with Focus on the Family was featuring author Shaunti Feldhahn. They were engaged in the 3rd of a 3-part series (What Women Should Know About Men) discussing highlights from her book For Women Only. Wow! What insights I gained in such a a short amount of time about ways to become a better helpmate and wife to my wonderful, Godly husband!

As soon as the few groceries were put in their respected places, I logged onto the Focus on the Family website and began listening to the other 2 broadcasts. My hand could not keep up with with my brain as I was noting points of interest to reflect on further, talk with Mickey about, and of course, later blog!

I know you are all wondering "What did you learn about men?" So, here it goes:

- First and foremost, men need to feel respected, trusted and supported in a relationship. What does that look like? Well, take for instance that you and your hubby are on your way to meet some friends for dinner. This is a new restaurant and notice that you seem to keep passing the same landmarks time and time again. Well, as women, we would say, "Honey, why don't you pull over and ask for directions?" To a man we are basically saying, "Honey, I don't trust you and your since of direction to be able to get us to the restaurant on time."

- Second, we need to stop all the nagging (Yes, I was convicted to the core, but I have since asked for forgiveness from Mickey.) When we continue to "nag" about certain issues (maybe the landscaping outside your house...haha) It sends the message to our husbands that we are disappointed in them. They process our nagging as "I've failed!" or that we do not trust him to get it done. We should make a concerted effort to say to ourselves, "I've asked him to do it. He hasn't done it. So, there has to be a reason why it hasn't been done yet (time, monetary resources, etc.) I will trust him to get it done. " Drop it. Move on. "

- Next, it is very easy for a man to measure success at work by promotions, salary, awards, etc. The only measurement of success at home is the happiness of his wife!

- After that, I wrote down that men and women think of romance in very different ways. Women usually associate romance with candles, flowers, dinner out, etc. Men tend to associate romance with doing things together like going to Home Depot, watching football, playing golf together, etc. Another point that was intriguing regarding romance is that men seem to think they have to do it "bigger or better" next time. Shaunti gave the example that for one of her birthdays her husband surprised her while on a trip to NYC with private ice skating lessons at Rockefeller Center. She then went on to say that it took 3 years before her husband did something romantic again. After they talked about it, she discovered that in his mind nothing could live up to the last event so he just did nothing. We need to reassure our husbands that unexpected flowers, a card, gift certificate, our favorite candy, etc. is just as romantic as a weekend away. It really is the thought that counts!

- We should make every effort to keep ourselves healthy and beautiful for our husbands. That can be anything from getting out of those same black sweat pants and t-shirt to purchasing some new makeup or perfume to keeping our bodies at a healthy weight. That one hit me in the gut!! Shaunti was quick to mention that this doesn't neccessarily mean losing weight, but that is an area I have really been struggling with lately. I want my body to be something that I am not ashamed of. Mickey tells me time and time again how beautiful I am, but I want to get to a point where I feel beautiful (yet, that's another post!)

Anyway, those are just a few of the insights I gleaned from listening to this wonderful broadcast. I strongly encourage you to head over to Focus on the Family and check it out for yourself. Once you are on the main page you will have to click on the link for daily broadcasts, then click last week and go to page 3 and 4.

Be sure to let me know what you think about the broadcasts and tips you have for keeping the romance alive in your home!!!

1 comment:

Autumn said...

Hey Lana, just thought I would let you know that a few months ago during our Women's series at church they had Shaunti come in and actually interviewed her on stage. You can check it out on the website and click on previous's under the Beautiful series. I thought she was great, and have really enjoyed reading her book!